look who's not coming to dinner

The weather continues to be distractingly beautiful. It’s not easy to knuckle down and tackle all my pre-Clarion work.

There are so many mundane tasks to consider too, such as the basic chore of choosing what clothes to bring. Seattle is Irish-like in its inconsistent climate, but it’s hard to remember to select a couple of pieces suitable for cooler weather when I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Seven weeks is a long time to be away, but I don’t want to burden myself with too much stuff, especially when it will be cheaper to pick certain things up in the USA. I’m going to make a pile, and try to be as ruthless as possible. As usual, I want to go with light luggage as I know it will be bursting when I return.

I’ve been watching episodes from the 2002 TV series Look Around You, which is a spoof British educational programme. If you search on YouTube or Google Video you’ll find them; “Water”, “The Brain”, and “Ghosts” are brilliant. Writers Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz deserve kudos for their surreal comedies. I’ve also discovered the wonder that is the Internet Archive.

The novelty of having broadband is almost as distracting as a sunny day.

I rented Underworld: Evolution: what a waste of time, money and CGI. I’m willing to make a sacrifice to the Studio Devils to ensure they don’t inflict any more of this tripe upon us. The world doesn’t need another duff movie with a female lead in fetish gear. We’ve already had to endure so many: Ultraviolet, Elektra, Aeon Flux, Catwoman, etc.

The girls might look like they could cut the eyelashes off a gnat at a hundred metres but once they open their mouths you realise that you would never invite them to a dinner party.

“What do you do?”
“I free the freeless.”
“Er, OK, could you pass the salt?”
“I am no man’s servant.”
“Um, pepper perhaps?”
“Death to all condiments!”

Who wants to risk a lame villain crashing the party anyway? Especially if it’s the day that s/he’s figured out the weakness that incapacitates the heroine.

But maybe after countless variations on “does my bum look big in this PVC outfit?” you’d welcome anyone who would finish her off.